25 Jan Under the knife…

Years ago, I was babysitting a friend’s little boy and my youngest son wanted to know why we had to watch another child. I told him that his mommy had a doctor appointment.
 My son, said, “Oh.” His face looked worried.
“What does a doctor do?” I asked, hoping for an answer like,they help you or make you better.
“They hurt my mouth,” he answered with a quiet voice–staring into the the space in front of him.
My son’s childhood was fraught with doctor appointments and surgeries. His most recent one at the time had closed his cleft palate. It was painful and followed by weeks of keeping his arms strapped down so he wouldn’t touch his mouth. I told him that the doctor had fixed the hole in the roof of his mouth and had helped him. My little boy looked unconvinced. He hates hospitals–they are torture chambers to him.


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It made me think.

There are so many things in my life that have been painful or difficult. Things that broke my heart or challenged me beyond what I thought I could handle. But as I look back I can see a purpose to it. I have seen good come of it.
The hardest things I have gone through have made me stronger. If nothing else they have given me more understanding and compassion for others who struggle with similar trials. And even more, they increase my confidence as I overcome them–less fear of small things because I survived bigger ones.It makes me more aware of when things are good. They have taught me gratitude.
As I center myself and look back on things I honestly would not change what I have gained. Even if it meant sparing myself grief. I think one of my deepest concerns is that I will become complacent, or shallow or –perish the thought–clueless. So I would rather go through hard things than float, rather pass through the refiner’s fire to make me stronger.

The operation on my boy gave him speech. Now he has words. Much like my struggles have given me words… understanding. Some day, I know my little boy will look back and realize that some of the things that hurt him most, did him the best good. And that’s great to know.

Jo Schaffer
joschaffer@yahoo.com
1Comment
  • Kathleen Seable
    Posted at 21:35h, 28 January Reply

    Amen!

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